We're halfway through the year and I'm just starting on episode 2, AGAIN. Am I frustrated? Yes. Is it for the best? Also, yes. If I'd uploaded what the previous versions of the episodes looked like, I'd cry and laugh, and then cry again. Because it's bad...and I mean BAD.
But now, it's good. Really good. And I'm more proud than ever when I see how my art has evolved and I still get excited when I learn a new skill or develop a new technique.
I hate how long it takes for me to create these things, but I need to remind myself that I'm doing it by myself. I have a helping hand if I need it, but what I don't have is the matching speed or skill that I need for how fast I work. I don't have time to teach and create - in other words. But it's do or die now, so I can't waste time complaining about something I can't change. Plug on mate! But it's frustrating to watch so much time pass and feel like nothing is getting any better, just worse. I still blame not having my supplies for an entire year which lost most of my traction online.
Realism mistaken for Pessimism
Not believing in anything until it's physically in my hand is not pessimism, it's realism. It's wanting proof and evidence of what's been said or promised. Why I refuse to make promises - they're unrealistic. They're to raise expectations and hopes which is cruel, in my opinion, having my hopes and expectations dropped and crushed so many times. Pessimism? No. Realistic? Yes.
I'm putting all of my time and effort into this project and I don't plan on stopping - because it's a "neverending story" get it?
That's not a promise, that's just a fact.
I better get back to it then, thanks for listening.
Comments